You're the Only One That Knows This...
by BrightlyMonotone
Summary: Sara’s never told anyone at CSI about her past. But when a case relates to something in her past, she tells a part to one certain CSI. (W/S)


Title: You're the Only One That Knows This.  
  
Author: Janine Z.  
  
Disclaimer: Sara and Warrick are not mine, but sometimes, I like to pretend they're mine and write things like this.  
  
Pairing: S/W friendship piece.(can you tell I'm obsessed with these two?)  
  
Summary: Sara's never told anyone at CSI about her past. But when a case relates to something in her past, she tells a part to one certain CSI.  
  
Author Note: This is my take on her hidden past. My opinion and I'm sure it's not even like her real past so don't get mad at me.  
  
*Reviews are ALWAYS welcome.good and bad, I'm not that touchy. Hey, if you want to "discuss" them, leave your email and we can chat.*  
  
He sat hunched over his work. She could tell just by looking at him that he was stressed and would welcome a nap and a soda right now. To tell the truth, she could use the same right now. The case she and Warrick had received from Grissom was taking longer than expected and most of the leads proved to just be dead ends. The case involved a teenage boy who had been killed. Or at least that's what they thought. Nick was insisting it was suicide, which would prove the case closed, but Grissom was saying otherwise, keeping Sara and Warrick on their toes. And obviously, the entire team was affected by its magnitude. But since it was only Sara and Warrick working on it, it wasn't hitting Grissom, Catherine or Nick as hard. Warrick was finding it hard to deal, but not as hard as Sara was finding it. She had memories like this.  
  
Sara, her arms crossed over her chest, stepped into the lab and slowly moved up behind Warrick. Her head low, she pulled up a chair and sat down next to him and gazed down at his work. Instead of asking the usual "Find anything?", she kept her tone calm and words tender by saying, "How're you feeling?"  
  
Warrick's head bobbed up and Sara cringed as she heard vertebrae cracking. He grimaced at the sound and slight pain. "Fine, I guess." He looked up at her, his eyes droopy with fatigue. "How're you? This case has been hitting you pretty hard."  
  
Sara sighed and dropped his gaze. "Yeah, like a ton of bricks really. Um," she quit talking when she felt her eyes start to sting. No, please, don't cry, she told herself. Not here, not in front of Warrick. Sara scooted her chair closer to the table and laid her crossed arms on it. She sighed once more as she laid her head on the table, then braved eye contact with him. His eyes were full of worry now.  
  
"What's on you mind?" Warrick asked. "Oh, God," she uttered bluntly. "Everything.this case. the suspects, this boy, the hours, the dead ends.Seth."  
  
Sara suddenly looked away upon muttering the name. "Who's Seth?" Warrick asked gently.  
  
Sara's eyes closed as she said in a tone barely audible, "You want to hear a true story, Warrick?"  
  
She had not answered his question in the least, but Warrick felt that this was hurting her so her set aside what he was doing and nodded slowly and said with care, "Yeah, I want to hear a true story."  
  
Sara looked at him, her brown eyes shining with small tears. His heartbeat quickened. Oh, no. This is killing her, Warrick though hurriedly. Damnit, Warrick, you shouldn't have said yes!  
  
"There was this boy in 7th grade, a long time ago," Sara began suddenly. She averted her eyes from his and continued. "He was a good student. A very good student, actually. The lowest grade he had ever made on any school assignment was a B-. He was a straight A student. Teachers loved him, he had countless friends, good Baseball player, and he had won many community awards because he always volunteered at community functions. Anyway, this one time, he was really sick. He was bed-ridden for a week and a half. He could barely get out of bed to get a glass of water, let alone go to school. When he was finally well enough to go back to school, he arrived on a day when a test was given. A Geography test. He was good at Geography. His father always joked that he would be a cartographer one day. But the illness he had all that week had distracted him during that test, and he could barely think about the questions. But he did his best. Later that day, his Geography teacher pulled him out of a later class to tell him that he had failed that test. He had only gotten twelve percent of the questions right." Sara's voice cracked here and her eyes began to fall out of focus. Warrick scooted forward to her in concern.  
  
"Sara, if you can't - " Warrick began affectionately.  
  
"No, it's okay, Warrick," Sara reassured. "I can finish. Just listen. Please."  
  
"Okay," Warrick answered, but still, his heart was beating fast with care and worry.  
  
"This boy, he had a twin sister," Sara began again. "She went to the same school. She was a good student too. Straight A's, had a lot of friends, had community service awards as well. She did a lot of things with her brother. These two were really close. Anyway, she went to the same school and they always walked home together. She noticed, that as they we walking home, he seemed quiet and really sad. She asked him what was going on, and he pulled out his test and showed her. She had gotten an F on a test once too so she knew what it was like and she hated the feeling. She told her brother to not worry about it, that everything was going to be fine. He, for the most part, believed her.  
  
"That night, at dinner, he showed the test to his parents. They were really surprised at him because this had never happened before. They grounded him for two weeks. He was devastated. Every week at they're school, there was this social or dance party called Neutral Zone that everyone went to. Especially these two kids. They loved going and hanging out and dancing with their friends. And because he was grounded, he was going to miss it. He couldn't believe that his parents would do that to him. His sister also couldn't believe that he got that kind of punishment.  
  
"Later that night, after his parents had gone to bed, he snuck into his sister's room and woke her up. He took her by the shoulders and said, 'I just want you to know, this is not your fault. It's mine, I know. But I love you. I cherish you above anyone else on this planet and I love you and will forever. Do you love me?' She just stared at him; she was so worried. She looked him straight in the eye and said, 'Yes, of course I love you. And I always will.' He nodded and kissed her forehead and got up to leave. Right before he left, he turned back to her and said, 'I love you' one more time. Then he left. He closed the door and she was left in darkness. She could see by the light coming from under the door that he was in the bathroom. She could briefly hear water running so she just thought he was washing his face. A few seconds after that, the light went off and she heard him close his door. Honestly, she didn't know what to make of it. She just laid down and went to sleep." Sara slowed and looked Warrick in the eye. He looked scared. Something he never was. He shakily held out his hand. Sara took it lightly and squeezed. He held it for a while, and then they both let go. She continued her story.  
  
"She woke up the next morning and didn't even really remember what her brother had told her in the middle of the night. She got up and went into her brother's room, as she did every morning. Their parents left the house for work before they even woke to go to school so she always woke him up. Anyway, she was in his room and he was sleeping. She pulled down the covers and he didn't move, so she poked him and ruffled his hair, hoping for more of a reaction. He still didn't move. She got worried, and touched his arm. He was icy cold. She grabbed his wrist and felt for a pulse, but didn't find one. He drooped over his bed and hit the floor, but didn't wake. She panicked and rushed into the bathroom and found a bottle of sleeping pills. She remembered that it was full a few days ago, but was completely empty now. She screamed. She couldn't believe it. She ran back into the room and hugged him. He was dead, and she knew it, but it scared and angered her unimaginably. She cried for a good five minutes, just cradling his body. Eventually, she got up and called the police. Told them the story. It took them nine minutes and forty-six seconds to get to the house. So I held him for nine minutes and forty-six seconds." Just as Sara finished, big tears streamed down her face. She couldn't hide them anymore. "I just held him."  
  
Warrick's eyes grew large. He hesitated before saying hoarsely, "Sara, I'm so sorry, I didn't think - " Warrick didn't know how to say this. Here he was thinking she was telling him the story of a friend or neighbor or something, but when the twin sister suddenly became Sara, Warrick didn't know what to feel right now. She stood up and turned away from him. She couldn't believe she was crying. Sara Sidle wasn't like this. And crying at work? In front of a co-worker? While she should be cracking this case? This day couldn't get any worse.  
  
She turned back to face Warrick, though didn't meet his gaze. Instead, she faced his chest. She didn't realize that he was this close. Jumping back slightly, she looked up into his face. He had tears in his eyes as well. "I shouldn't have told you that. I'm sorry, Warrick."  
  
"No, no, I'm glad you did, it's okay," he whispered. "I'm so sorry about that."  
  
"Yeah, me too," Sara said. "I think it helped to share it with someone."  
  
"Why me? Who else have you told?" Warrick asked, stepping back to look into her eyes better.  
  
"Umm, you're the only one who knows that, actually," she said looking away. He touched her arm audaciously. Tears leaked again and she sniffed loudly. To her surprise, he opened his arms and she fell into them gratefully. Her body shook as she sobbed into his chest. He arms were wrapped tightly around her shivering and grief-stricken form. Her hands were balled into fists as she grabbed his shirt and dug her nails into his chest as she remembered her brother's lifeless form so many years ago. Warrick gritted his teeth as Sara's nails went through his shirt and into it soft skin. She didn't notice, just continued to sob and snuggle closer to his chest. He pulled her closer and tried to ignore the fact that her nails were now digging into the flesh of his chest muscles. He lowered his head and buried it in her hair. "I never wanted to hide it from anyone," Sara choked into in shoulder, "but I couldn't tell anyone. I was too scared. This case brought it all back and I had to spit it out to someone. I'm sorry."  
  
"No, it's okay, I'm glad you told me. Do you want me to have Grissom take you off the case? For your sake?" Warrick asked, trying to forget the blood trickling down his chest.his stomach.his abdomen.  
  
Sara sniffed once more, lifted her head from his shoulder, and slipped her fingernails out of the cuts in his shirt. She didn't even notice the pain she was inflicting on him. "No, I want to stay on the case, but thank you. For listening to me and turning away. I thought - I thought that you might."  
  
He stepped back just barely to look her in the eyes. His tears reflected hers. Even through a different pain, they saw each other at a new level. This brought them closer. Not as a couple, just as friends, but this definitely helped their friendship. He leaned down and kissed her cheek sweetly and she smiled for the first time in days. "If you need anything, I'm here."  
  
"Yeah, I know. Thank you, Warrick," Sara said hugging him happily. She released him and left the lab.  
  
He looked down at the blood under his shirt and said to himself, "Sacrifice. Oh well. Sara's worth it." 


End file.
